Thursday, 5 May 2016

Things that the Everyday Folk Leave Behind

If my mum knew how much litter I pocket these days she’d hit the roof. It wouldn't take two seconds before she had her head in her hands, sobbing about where she went wrong and swigging straight from the bottle of gin she keeps for such emergencies.

She may have a point. On my last birthday, I spent way too long arm-deep in the waste bin outside the local nursery, trying to retrieve the Lucozade bottle I mistakenly threw in there earlier. And I did recently walk my six-year old son round the McDonald’s car park looking for Monopoly properties. And yes, that was me guiltily hiding an empty cider bottle behind my back when my son's head teacher collared me the other morning before school.

But what of it?

I’d love to say that wombling has won me a fortune, but the truth is less kind. McDonald’s owes me a cup of tea and a 6x4-inch photo book. End of.

I’ve got a good feeling about these Pepperami wrappers though.

Has litter ever worked for you? What was your best win? Surely someone has done better than a cup of tea?!

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